People irritate me. They get on my nerves. If I could, I would live an isolated life.
But then you already knew that.
Why am I telling you all this? Because my hatred for humanity has resurfaced. Not that I was ever (even close to) a convivialist. Still. I tried to downplay my misanthropy for the sake of my sanity. I thought that if I learnt to be more accepting maybe, just maybe, I would find mankind less irritating.
I don't think I've ever been this wrong. Humanity I just don't understand. The desperation to be happy, the obvious absence of any altruistic tendencies. The obvious presence of schadenfreude in every human heart (mine included, of course). And more than anything, the blatant hypocrisy we all indulge in. What's so great about us. About our existence? About life?
No, don't give that pitiful look. And don't ask me to chill. Oh for the love of all that is green and blue, do NOT say anything close to "Chill". I hate that word. I hate the way people use it. It is one of the thousand odd things human beans do that get on my nerves. The stupid condescending tone, the implication that the speaker is emotionally disturbed, the forced laidback-ness. I hate it! I freaking hate it!
Yes I'm passionate about things. About life. About making mine count. Forgive me if my rising voice and histrionic gestures are bothering you. I'm sorry, I can't cool down. I like talking eloquently, emotionally, from my heart and soul. It makes me feel alive. I can't do the whole cool dyood thing you seem to have mastered. I like feeling my blood rush through my veins as I scream, shout, argue and lecture. I like throwing my hands up in the air, feeling my voice tremble, my mouth go dry.
But why am I explaining all this to you? You equate passionate people with emotionally unstable ones. You, my friend, are an idiot. You talk about life being precious - What the hell is so freaking precious about something that six billion creatures of the same species have? You know what is precious though? A life that is different, unique, interesting. But you won't get it. You're hell bent on following the same formula that your mom, dad, grandparents, great-grandparents did. You have it all figured out. So now you can chill.
Well, I can't. My parents broke the mold. They did things they weren't expected to do. And guess what - they made their lives interesting. The same blood flows in my body. And I need to respect it, give it the pride it deserves to gush with. I need to be myself, be passionate as I can be. Feel the world. Feel my life. Feel every second pass. Feel the colours, emotions, ideas, thoughts, drama, music, flavours, cultures - so many things to experience...
...so NO, I won't chill. I won't cool it, and I definitely won't calm down. For heaven's sake, please stop asking me to.
But then you already knew that.
Why am I telling you all this? Because my hatred for humanity has resurfaced. Not that I was ever (even close to) a convivialist. Still. I tried to downplay my misanthropy for the sake of my sanity. I thought that if I learnt to be more accepting maybe, just maybe, I would find mankind less irritating.
I don't think I've ever been this wrong. Humanity I just don't understand. The desperation to be happy, the obvious absence of any altruistic tendencies. The obvious presence of schadenfreude in every human heart (mine included, of course). And more than anything, the blatant hypocrisy we all indulge in. What's so great about us. About our existence? About life?
No, don't give that pitiful look. And don't ask me to chill. Oh for the love of all that is green and blue, do NOT say anything close to "Chill". I hate that word. I hate the way people use it. It is one of the thousand odd things human beans do that get on my nerves. The stupid condescending tone, the implication that the speaker is emotionally disturbed, the forced laidback-ness. I hate it! I freaking hate it!
Yes I'm passionate about things. About life. About making mine count. Forgive me if my rising voice and histrionic gestures are bothering you. I'm sorry, I can't cool down. I like talking eloquently, emotionally, from my heart and soul. It makes me feel alive. I can't do the whole cool dyood thing you seem to have mastered. I like feeling my blood rush through my veins as I scream, shout, argue and lecture. I like throwing my hands up in the air, feeling my voice tremble, my mouth go dry.
But why am I explaining all this to you? You equate passionate people with emotionally unstable ones. You, my friend, are an idiot. You talk about life being precious - What the hell is so freaking precious about something that six billion creatures of the same species have? You know what is precious though? A life that is different, unique, interesting. But you won't get it. You're hell bent on following the same formula that your mom, dad, grandparents, great-grandparents did. You have it all figured out. So now you can chill.
Well, I can't. My parents broke the mold. They did things they weren't expected to do. And guess what - they made their lives interesting. The same blood flows in my body. And I need to respect it, give it the pride it deserves to gush with. I need to be myself, be passionate as I can be. Feel the world. Feel my life. Feel every second pass. Feel the colours, emotions, ideas, thoughts, drama, music, flavours, cultures - so many things to experience...
...so NO, I won't chill. I won't cool it, and I definitely won't calm down. For heaven's sake, please stop asking me to.
Amen! I hate hate hate hate being told to "calm down". If you think that I need to calm down, that's your problem, and telling me to do so will just get me more hyped up!
ReplyDelete"You equate passionate people with emotionally unstable ones"
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean. And they have the guts to act as if i need support. Well guess what? I DON'T!
Ha! I knew I wasn't the only one!
ReplyDeleteI'm beginning to see now how you found my blog... I think we might be soul mates. ;)
ReplyDeleteYeah well, misanthropes against the world...we gotta stick together...
ReplyDelete...which I think goes against the very definition of misanthropy :/
Couldn't agree with you more! I find when people tell me to 'calm down' or 'chill out' not only do i find myself getting more worked up but more passionate about whatever it is i happen to be expressing my concern over at that moment in time.
ReplyDeleteQuite eloquently put, I say! And I do agree with what you say.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, I think it's the passion that drives people to this, in the sense that, it's a positive thing. (This was more articulately put in some article I read).