Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Being close to God ( and other boring stuff that I don't actually believe in)

I've never been a religious person. I find religions interesting and amusing rather than intimidating. Religion doesn't encourage me. Its not a part of my routine.

But I'm a believer. In my own twisted way, I believe in God (or Gods, whatever sails your boat). And that's where religion ends for me. Basically, my relationship with my belief system is like mom's relationship with alcohol; she (my mom) drinks occasionally, mostly socially; she could exist very well without alcohol, but she understands that its very important to some people.

What I'm trying to say here is:
a. I believe in God but
b. I don't really care for religions and spirituality and whatnot.

For me, God is like this psychiatrist, the one who listens to your worries and your stupid little fears. He helps you, he guides you, he protects you from the dirty glances, he teaches you, he makes sure you can cope up with your problems. He's a shrink to me, a super-shrink if you will.

What's the point in all of this? Well, what I'm trying to say is that for the last month or so, I feel as though I'm closer to him - I can't explain it -  its really stupid, but for once in my life I feel like he gives a damn - About me, about my problems, about my life. And it feels great. Its like shooting darts and hitting everything from the surrounding wall to the chairs, tables and framed portraits until that one day appears when you hit one of those inner circles. Its not the bull's-eye, but its so damn close. Closer than you've ever been. Maybe its the closest you get, I don't know.

What I do know is that I love this feeling. It makes me feel good about myself :)

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